Binging

I was fully prepared tonight to blog about my achievements of the day. I am sorry to say that will not be what I blog about but I will tell you all about my failures.
My post was supposed to be about how I had some little treats today, a couple of pieces of chocolate and a small amount of birthday cake (co-workers birthday, we all know the score) but at the last hurdle I failed.
Unfortunately I cannot mentally get it into my head that it is ok to have something naughty as long as it is in moderation. I go into this mindset as soon as I eat something bad that I have failed so I may as well eat everything I want in one day, get it out of my system and start better tomorrow.
So, when 9pm came and I had managed to enjoy three very healthy meals and a few small treats I felt very smug and proud of myself that the little voice inside my head hadn't got the better of me.
But I am sorry to say the one little Thorntons chocolate that wouldn't harm turned into six and then before I knew it I had binged on everything.

The cake that started it all

I don't tend to have bad food in like chocolate and biscuits but I had caved earlier today and bought a small bag of chocolate (which would be fine if I could managed one or two a day but I can't). I'm like Pringles, once I pop I just can't stop. Before I knew it I had finished the chocolates, eaten two bowls of shredded wheat and nibbled on just about everything in my fridge.
To be completely honest I have really fallen off the bandwagon lately. I lost quite a bit of weight and started to feel great so I began to go a little bit easier on myself. But that turned into ooo just one won't hurt, maybe another, oh I may as well have that and slowly I am putting the pounds back on. It is a slippery slope and one I need to fight. Willpower is something I have never been very good with. So tomorrow is a new day, and I am going to eat well, do a massive workout and set myself up for a clean eating weekend. Starting Monday I am going to feel energized and refreshed. It will set me up for a good week. I am also going to do another round of Bootea which helps keep me on track because I refuse for it to be a waste of money.
One thing for sure is I am an emotional eater. I recently hurt my ankle running so have had to stop that for a while which is something I am struggling with. I love running and I am itching to get back out there so the frustration of not being able to just go is getting to me. One more week of rest and I plan on seeing how I get on going for a short run.
But for now I am going to feel guilty about the amount of food I have consumed today and look forward to a healthier future.